For Him

Rays of sun crawl over the red hills like ripples of water,
swiftly cooling the radiated heat.
I can feel you in the rocks.
I can see you in the skies.
I can smell you in the air.
I can hold you in my pulse and blood
strengthening me with god-like power.
This is where i know i can find you
and i know we'll meet here someday soon.
As the sun slips beneath the soft red rivers,
I see you shine in full glory, calmly blackening the tempered dusk.
Under the night sky, your eyes look down on me and watch,
and as i sleep, you give me air to breathe and dreams to dream.
I dream of you, Sean, with such vividness that i cry when i wake.
The dreams are beautiful and they keep me grounded,
They help me remember that you are never dead.
We grow old in these dreams, families bloom,
days grow long and sweet, and together we finally pass in the night.

Today...

Today was an incredible day of skiing. Close to 40 weightless inches of face deep, sicky sicky, pow pow. Makes me wet just thinking about it. The snow was so deep that I was getting face shots not because my knees would blast powder into my face when i ripped throw powder pillows like a freight train but because my face was literally deep inside the massive, safe palm of Uller himself. So... not that i have to repeat myself, but i will, the skiing was powgastic. I welcome you Tiny Baby 'El Nino' with open arms and please puke on our mountains again. :)

Falling Water

As I used to sit their underneath the water,
mossing in the crisp stream,
it would cross my mind to reach out
ignite the warmth in my waters
and free form thoughts unthinkable.
as the building grew,
it immediately immersed its surroundings,
like a keen hunter in the thickest bush.
the trees leaned to it.
the grass and flowers stretched for it.
it radiated with happiness in its new home,
and the earth embraced it as her own.
I fear that my life will shorten,
and I will dry the always moist roots of my friends.
things will crack, stability fail,
and what was created from nature will forever rest in soft earth.

Makes Me Feel Safe

It's a beautiful world
the night breathes its deep sorrows
whispers through the wind
how it cries
how it longs for life
how it longs for something more

the two words spoken reverberate in unison
echoing from one branch to the other as they collide to a climactic trance
the air soaks through my pours and my soul jumps into the cold, dark, black night
my body elongates, transports itself from earthly bounds and floats across the sky into nothing.
my mind blossoms in deep colors of purple, blue, pink, orange, red and erupts with violent passion
my eyes shut, leaving only the black and the scattered colored lines of unconsciousness to break free and satisfy their imaginations in sleep.
they grow, they harden, they explode.
this feeling of ugliness doesnt mark me but strengthens me
i feed off of the hurt, the sadness, the depression.
the pain feels good, it feels good. They think i am wrong. They say i am wrong.
I dont martyr myself for them, i martyr myself for him
to prove that i can live forever and run around and dance through the night with him
I want to float above the roads and the rivers and the valleys, hold hands and talk.
I want to show him that this is a beautiful world.